Steady Steps
I was reading Psalm 57 recently, and I haven’t been able to shake it since.
This chapter captures a moment in David’s life that feels deeply familiar if you’ve lived through loss. David—the same man who brought down Goliath, the one anointed to be the next king of Israel—isn’t sitting on a throne here. He’s hiding in a dark cave.
He had the promise of the crown, but not the weight of it. Not yet.
He was still running—for his life—from the current king, Saul, who had let fear of not being important anymore and jealousy take over his heart.
What struck me wasn’t just the distress David was in. It was what he chose to do while in that dark place—before anything changed and before he knew what would happen next.
He started taking steps. Not dramatic, not flashy. But faithful ones.
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you know the darkness of the cave too. Not a literal one—but the kind of darkness that shows up with grief.
The kind where mornings feel heavy, where the silence is loud, and the weight of their absence presses down on your chest. Where your heart longs to move forward, but your legs just don’t want to.
As a widower for the last decade, I’ve been there too. I’ve stood at the bottom of the valley, wondering how in the world I’d ever take another step. And what I’ve learned is this: healing doesn’t come from sprinting—it comes from steady steps.
So if you’re in the dark right now, stuck between the pain behind you and the unknown ahead—Psalm 57 might be the guide you didn’t know you needed.
Let’s look at the steps David chose while still in the darkness:
Step 1: Start Your Day with Intention
“Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn!” (Psalm 57:8)
David didn’t wait for the day to shake him out of bed. He decided to meet the morning—with all his distress, and still with purpose. That first step may be quiet, but it’s bold. Wake with intention—even if it’s just sitting up and saying, “God, I’m here.”
Step 2: Let Worship Settle Your Heart
“My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody!” (Psalm 57:7)
David’s circumstances hadn’t changed—but his posture did. Worship doesn’t erase grief. It reminds your soul who’s still holding you in it. Let your heart settle in that truth.
Step 3: Don’t Hide Your Hope
“I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations.” (Psalm 57:9)
Sometimes after loss, we feel like hope is too risky to speak out loud. After all, our prayers didn’t get answered the way we wanted, right? What we could label as our most unanswered prayer is often the most known thing about us. Likewise, David was anointed to be king, very publicly defeated Goliath—and then had to hide for his life. Yet David didn’t plan on whispering about the One he still placed his hope in. He chose to declare God’s goodness—right from the shadows, even when he didn’t like what was happening. Your voice still matters. Your faith still speaks—especially when it’s weary.
Step 4: Choose Gratitude Even Here
“Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!” (Psalm 57:5)
David wasn’t rescued yet. He was still in the cave—but he chose to lift his eyes. Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay. It means recognizing that even in the ache, God is still worthy. Gratitude is the kind of stubborn faith that keeps you breathing when nothing else makes sense.
Step 5: Remember What God’s Done
“They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves.” (Psalm 57:6)
David didn’t just cry out—he reminded himself that God had protected him before. And He would do it again. If you’re struggling to see the road ahead, look back and see your enemy still in the pit they dug for you. Remember the moments you thought you wouldn’t make it—and you did. Remember the strength you didn’t know you had. That same God is still with you now.
Be encouraged…
The dark cave isn’t forever.
You may not feel it, but the day will come when the light breaks through again. And while you wait—these steps can keep you grounded.
You don’t need to leap. You don’t have to fake joy.
But you can take a step. Just one.
And then another.
-Wake with intention.
-Let worship steady your heart.
-Speak your faith.
-Choose gratitude.
-Remember God’s faithfulness.
You can carry your grief and still walk in purpose.
You can honor your past and still step into your future.
You don’t have to do it alone—God is with you. And we are too.
Daniel Brooker
Founder, Refuge Widowers
