Mother’s Day is Coming

You know it, I know it. And if you’re like many widowers, you’ve probably been feeling the weight of this day long before it even arrives. The church service. The kids. The well-meaning—but painful—reminders of the wife and mother you lost.

But let me ask you a question: Have you made a plan for this day? Or are you just bracing yourself to react as it comes?

I get it. It’s a hard day—one you wish you could skip entirely. But what if you could approach it with a plan—a strategy to lead your kids through the day and make sure that while it may be tough, it doesn’t control you?

What if, instead of feeling victimized by the emotions of the day, you could use it as an opportunity to lead with grace, love, and strength?

It’s possible. And I would love to help you get there.

Here are some suggestions to help you navigate Mother’s Day with confidence:

1. Check in with your kids before Sunday

Don’t just assume they’re okay. Ask how they’re feeling about the day. You might hear everything from “I’m fine” to “I’m anxious.” Listen. Let them share. Acknowledge their emotions.

2. Have a plan for the day

Think through the day’s events—church, meals, downtime. Know what you’ll do, where you’ll go, and how you’ll handle tough moments. Be proactive, not reactive.

When you have a plan, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed.

Consider skipping the restaurant for lunch—it’ll likely be filled with families celebrating their moms, and that could be hard on all of you.

3. Let your kids choose where to sit 

If your church has a kids’ program or Sunday school, offer them the choice to either sit with you or go.

Let them decide what feels most comfortable. This shows them you're considering their needs, while still being present with them.

4. Honor her memory together

This could be as simple as looking through pictures, sharing happy memories, or making her favorite food.

Another idea: consider bringing flowers to the graveside—a simple, tangible way to remember her together.

Honor her memory in a way that feels healing for you and your kids. You might be surprised by how much this bonds you.

5. Who can you invite into your day?

You don’t need to be surrounded by a crowd, but having safe, supportive people around can help you get through it.

If you have friends or family who understand your pain, invite them in.

Isolation only makes the day heavier.

6. Emotions are ok

Whether they feel joy, sadness, or both, remind your kids it’s okay.

Grief is messy and unpredictable—there’s no “right” way to feel or express it.

7. Take a picture together 

Even if you don’t feel like it—take one.

It might seem like just another thing to do, but trust me: years from now, you’ll be glad you have a picture that shows you made it through, together.

It’s proof that even on the hardest days, you're still showing up, leading your family, and making memories.

8. Pray together

Before the day gets busy, gather your kids and pray.

It doesn’t need to be eloquent—just honest. Ask God for strength to get through the day and peace for your children’s hearts.

Remind them—and yourself—that Jesus is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

9. Bonus points

Call your mother in law to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. It will mean more than you can probably imagine.

You don’t have to walk through this day unprepared or alone.

It’s okay to feel the pain—just don’t let it control you.

Use this day as an opportunity to lead your family with intention.

You may not have all the answers, but you can point your kids to Jesus, the One who does—the One who knows what it’s like to carry pain and offers us a hope that never fades.

Happy Mother’s Day, Bro

With you and for you

Daniel Brooker 

Founder, Refuge Widowers